The Rod of Discipline

BY JPDSUMMERS24

How do you discipline your children? What is/are your basis/bases? Psychology? Customs and traditions? Parents and grandparents? Experience?

As parents, we all want what's best for our children. But the real question is, what is the correct way to discipline them? First, let us establish the platform of what should be our best basis.

"Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him."
Proverbs 30:5

"For the word of God is active, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
Hebrews 4:12

Many people might find this as absurd or preposterous, but it is actually logical, practical and basically the most precise foundation on child discipline. Through the course of this writing, we will also realize that it is also scientific.

For starters, we are commanded by the Scriptures to:

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6

In science, there is a term called "pedagogy" - a teaching style of "leading a child". For the teaching of adults, the term is called "andragogy".

This is a very crucial process esp. on children who are just starting to learn new knowledge from their environment. According to scientific studies, a child's brain works like a sponge that absorbs almost everything for the first 6 years.

Now that we are aware of this, we must be cautious of the things our child sees, hears or feels. We, as parents, should create a positive and wonderful environment for them to be in. We should set an example that they can follow. We are responsible of setting the standards on how our children will be when they grow up.

In the Bible, as was stated above, we are instructed to train up our children. One of the styles of pedagogy is "teacher-centered" which puts the teacher as the expert in the classroom and the students as the novices. Biblically and scientifcally, we are responsible on what our children will be learning.

One of the most discussed topics is, should we use physicality while we discipline our children? Do we need to spank or hit them? Here, we draw the line on what's appropriate and what's good for our precious young ones.

Let us ask ourselves - between the parent and the child, who will decide on what's best for them? Of course, the parent! It is ridiculous to ask a child what's good for them. We are responsible, and we are the ones who should decide. And one of the first things a child should understand is being secured when their parents are around. In conjunction with this, is the fear instilled that can cause their complete and utter obedience.

Why must fear be established? Simple. They are children. They have limited to zero knowledge on everything. But they should know that they should be dependent on their parents. The Bible agrees with this.

"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Proverbs 22:15

"The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."
Proverb 29:15

In the Bible, it is not wrong to spank or hit your child. But let's us not jump to conclusions. It does not say that parents can beat up their children to a pulp. It says, that in the child's foolishness or innocence, the rod of correction and reproof will give them wisdom. The Bible even tells us how often, at what age and in what manner - in just one Hebrew word.

"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."
Proverbs 13:24

The word "betimes" means sometimes. It was derived from the Hebrew word "shachar" (H7836) which also means early on, and diligently. It is not frequent, but occasionally - if need be. Do it diligently in a way where you still show your care to the child. And do it early on, that the child knows whom he should follow or obey.

Interestingly, psychological studies are divided on being in favor and against physicality on children. Most studies report that spanking children harms their mental health and can cause psychological disorders and trauma - which is ridiculous. This begs the question what kind of physical punishment was involved, and the gravity of it.

Some studies are okay with spanking as a last resort if verbal warnings and timeouts don't work anymore. In a perfect world, parents don't have to spank their children. It is very illogical to spank an obedient child. But in reality, there are stubborn children and we should accept that.

Let us remember our purpose: the best for our children. If parents spank their children, it is because of love. Let us not equate "spanking" to an abusive behavior. The Bible tells us of the rod of correction and reproof. This is not a punishment without any reason. This is love that is in accordance with our Father in heaven.

"For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.
Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?"
Hebrews 12:6, 9

By implementing the Biblical chastisement, it results not just fear but respect from the child. This is because a Christian parent is also under God's protective law.

"And, all of you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
Ephesians 6:4

Parents are allowed to discipline their children, even hit them with a rod at times. But this discipline comes with the nurturing care and admonition of the Lord. Parents and guardians should understand the real meaning of punishing or chastising the children. It is for the betterment of the children and not to satisfy their anger towards them. Always keep in mind that we are their parents, we are in control, we know what's best for them and if there's a need for chastisement to mend the child's ways, then so be it. Just do it with love

"Let all your things be done with love."
I Corinthians 16:14



~ JPDSummers24 ~


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